i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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