i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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