I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
