Just fell off a train. Bad.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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