If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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