Non-Jews are for practice
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
