I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
