The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
