I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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