hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
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