Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
