so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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