I bet he comes in French.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
