I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
