Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
