Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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