Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
