At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
