where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
