I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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