How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
