im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
