Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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