the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
