Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
