I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize