Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
