I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
