I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
