Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
