As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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