I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
