I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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