It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
