I wish I could punch you in the face.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
