I heard we made out
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
