nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
how do you play pong handcuffed?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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