im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
