If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
