she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
