If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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