so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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