If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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