wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
