My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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