I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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