If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
