is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
