is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
