I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
