I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
