it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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